"Get Your Own Cake," Says Birthday Boy!

Has it been a year already? Yep, it's the Kid's birthday again! He's been writing up a storm lately (Ralph does his best work while on vacation, and in the last year he's been to Tokyo and Kansas, banging out memories by the mile). The wild stories, from the past and present, keep coming. Wait'll you hear his personal history of the Yankees! As amateur editor of this Italian-American opus, I can attest to Ralph's bottomless well of wonders. Happy birthday, Big Fella! 

The Kid Endorses a Presidential Candidate

Once again Ralph endorses the late Pat Paulsen for President. Although Paulsen died fifteen years ago, his chances are still pretty good up against this year's gems. Here's the Kid meeting Mr. Paulsen in Hollywood in  1968 or '69. A woman with a head like a Jai alai basket patiently waits for a hug.

Big Pops Meets Big Beard (Updated)

I don't have much info about this photo except that it's from 1968 when Ralph visited California with his parents. I guess I can put a call in to the Kid for the info, but I'll just wait for the update. I'm pretty sure this is Hollywood and that is not Gabby Hayes (this gentleman's posture is too good).

But I'll tell you what I THINK Ralph's saying to himself: "35 cents for a half an hour? Forget it. Too much!"

UPDATE: Ralph responds: "That happens to be none other than Wild Bill Tucker, who can make any bird call at will." Of course, the Kid never forgets. Wild Bill Tucker was a real Hollywood character ("unofficial greeter at Grauman's Chinese Theatre"), often seen on the Boulevard. In an article in the Portsmouth Times, August 13, 1964, Wild Bill says, "I can make any sound you name; here's a hurricane." There's not much info about him online. Last reference I can find is in article from '72. He's most likely passed away by now, as he'd be well over 100. He's probably in that great mustache wax factory in the sky!

Leave it to Ralph to get us (well, me) talking about Wild Bill Tucker again!

The Official Back Book Flap Photograph

The back of the photo reads, "Our first apartment - 1971 - Ralph studying." I can't add much to this description, but I will offer my aesthetic impression. This is not only the greatest photograph of a human being, but I believe the single most important photograph since the dawn of the process. It might even succeed the cave paintings of the Chauvet-Pont-d'Arc Cave in significance.

I don't know if the zipper's down for a little ventilation or if it's broken.

If it's broken, would you call a tailor or an upholsterer?

And They Lived Happily Ever After...

Ralph and Red (the original Irish Rodeo Clown himself, John Regan) outside Red's house in Chester, New York, early 70s. Once a Kid would be a slimmer volume were it not for the wild adventures Ralph shared with Red. He's Dean Moriarity to Ralph's Sal Paradise. Dr. Gonzo to Ralph's Raoul Duke. Or vice versa. Or neither. Soon, the world will be using them as examples: "He's the Red to my Ralph."

Raphael Milhous Nixon

Once a Kid returns! Ah, Summer, when a young Italian's heart turns to travel! Here we see a teenage Ralph doing his best Richard Nixon. He's smiling because, on the way out of the plane, he stuffed the pockets full of peanuts. The photo's dated "Aug '67", but that might just be when it was developed -- this was pre-Instagram days, kids.

You might be mumbling to yourself, too embarrassed to ask aloud, "Is he in his pajamas?" I'm not sure. The other options are it's a modified Nehru jacket or he's on his way to a Male Nurse convention.

We here at "Once a Kid" are happy to be back. Whenever Ralph puts the writing of the memoir aside, I suspend the blog. When his devotion wanes, my ennui sets in. But the Kid's been scribbling again, composing pages of quotes from that cast of characters who've colored his life. Keep 'em coming, big fella!

The Magnificent Seventh Inning Stretch!

He's back!The kid does the stretch! Good to see ol' Ralphie Boy strutting in the bleachers. Back in the Bronx for a recharge! Surely the Yankees won after such a display!

Surely, they didn't. Those bums!